What, How & Why of Self Respect | Everything you need to know
Self-respect: Why is respecting
yourself important?
We
often hear that self-respect is vital, that it's a key part of having a happy
productive life and it's essential to healthy relationships. However, depending
on your upbringing and your life experiences you may not really feel like you
have much self-respect! This can lead to low mood and keep you stuck with
limiting beliefs that hold you back from fulfilling your true potential.
Sometimes you might wonder if this is just your lot in life.
Luckily,
self-respect isn't static, you can work to change it and to grow a more
positive attitude towards yourself, but how do you approach making the change?
If you want to be proud of yourself, this article will offer you the perfect
place to start. We'll explain why and how self-respect is so important and
we'll work through a range of powerful confidence-building techniques that will
begin to change how you feel about yourself!
Practicing
and building self-respect has to be done consistently and over time but the
process can make a difference as early as day one. Practicing self-respect can
benefit your life in dozens of different ways no matter what you prioritize in
life. Examples of self-respect include asserting yourself in relationships, so
that you get the treatment you deserve, being able to negotiate at work and
simply feeling positive when you look in the mirror. Most importantly when you
have healthy levels of self-respect, you talk to yourself with compassion and
are able to feel proud of your authentic self.
Practice
Self-Care
Practicing
self-care is a cornerstone of developing self-respect but what do we mean when
we talk about self-care? In short, these are habits and behaviors that
prioritize being kind to yourself, you need to be monitoring your need for rest
and knowing when to focus on your own needs. When you treat yourself this way
you send your conscious mind the message that you are valuable and worthy of
love and that others should see this too. In contrast, if you regularly work
yourself into the ground or drain your resources, your subconscious gets the
message that you're only valuable in so far as you can do things for others.
Make a self-care routine, if you're wondering how to start self-care then one
of the best thing you can do is write up a plan for a daily self-care routine.
You can change and amend this over time, experimenting with what works to
rejuvenate you. Examples of things you could add to your self-care list include:
1.
Having a screen-free hour away from phones computers and television before bed.
2. Setting a time past which you
won't respond to work emails.
3. Meditating once a day daily.
4. Having fruit and vegetables
each day.
5. Reading at least one chapter of
fiction each night.
6. Setting aside at least half an
hour each day to pursue your hobby.
(Adding too
many becomes overwhelming rather than supportive, so choose your daily
self-care checklist carefully)
The point is just to identify
things that top-up your energy and make you feel good about yourself.
Benefits
of self-care
The
benefits of practicing self-care are numerous, as well as reinforcing the
aforementioned belief that you're valuable and worthy of love, self-care
ensures that your energy doesn't run out. It keeps you regularly topped up so
that you can be emotionally resilient, physically energized and mentally alert,
as a result, you're better placed to do well at work, enjoy your social time
and stay healthy. The benefits of self-care also include learning to practice
mindfulness, notice that a lot of the examples on the sample list above involve
fully submerging yourself at the moment whether you're actively meditating or
are focusing on a book. Self-care encourages gratitude and cultivates a habit
of being fully present in whatever you're doing.
How
to build self-confidence and self-esteem
Now
that you have a better sense of why self-respect matters and how self-care
helps in building self-respect, let's move on to techniques you can use to
create and reinforce high self-esteem. The following self-confidence tips can
be adapted to suit all kinds of goals and lifestyles and we'll use examples
throughout to help you see how you build self-confidence realistically and
consistently.
Steps
to confidence building
The following steps all involve
confidence-building exercises, steadily building your sense of your own value.
Confidence building isn't instantaneous, so be sure to practice these exercises
as often as you can to turn them into habits, eventually, they will become
second nature and you'll benefit from a healthier, happier sense of self.
Visualize
yourself
One of the most effective things
you can do to boost self-esteem is to visualize yourself as you want to be,
this exercise only takes 10 to 15 minutes and requires finding a quiet place
where you won't be disturbed, get comfortable, close your eyes and practice
deep breathing for a few minutes then gradually build a fully detailed image of
the life you want to live, imagine feeling the way you want to feel about
yourself, confident, excited, and empowered. Imagine how you want people to respond
to you with respect, interest, and care, let yourself try and experience what
it's like to perceive yourself this way and to be perceived as confident.
As
you get used to visualization, challenge yourself to add more and more details,
try adding in new scenarios, and make them as vivid as possible, add smells,
sounds, and textures. The clearer the image. the more powerfully it reshapes
yourself of self.
Question
your inner critic
Questioning yourself is less of a
daily exercise to do at a set time and more of a technique to apply every time
you catch yourself thinking thoughts that are linked to low self-esteem.
Instead of assuming that your self-concept is accurate, question it. For
example, when you think people don't like me, challenge yourself to find
counter-evidence. Your friends, the people, who trust you, the times' people
have complimented you.
Similarly, when you catch yourself thinking "I
can't do this", remember the times you have succeeded and be proud of
yourself. If you want to do a specific exercise linked to the inner critic, try
listing the ten things you think it says most often and answer it on paper,
also use evidence against the negative voice of the critic. Try coming up with
a slogan to replace the negative things it says.
Set
yourself up to win
By "set yourself up to
win" what we mean is that you can boost your self-respect by setting
realistic goals, don't lower your self-regard by setting goals that are beneath
you, and are so simple to accomplish that they don't really make you feel good.
However, you must avoid setting implausibly high standards that you are
unlikely to meet. When you set a life goal, make life easier by asking yourself
if this reasonable? You might be wondering what makes a goal reasonable,
essentially when you're looking for something that challenges you to grow and
stretches your abilities but that doesn't require a superhuman skill. For
example, if you decide you want to start a new business, set yourself a goal of
having a few clients first, not straight away 50. If you want to lose weight go
for a steady loss of a few pounds a week and not a stone in a month.
Don't care
what others think, this one can be hard in practice but if you're going to have
robust self-esteem then you need to learn how to care a bit less about what
others think. In particular, it's important to know when to put yourself first.
As we noted when discussing self-care, if you put everyone else first, you end
up with no energy to pursue your own goals or pursue your purpose. However,
putting yourself first can involve getting negative feedback at first, people
will still be used to pushing your boundaries so you are likely to get negative
feedback, One thing that can help you care less about what others think is to
remember that all their opinions and beliefs are shaped by their own struggles.
Their anxieties, jealousies, and weak spots play a role in how they view you
and they're all working on themselves too so often what others think is far
from a reliable guide to who you are or what you're worth.
Follow-through
and be accountable for yourself
Finally,
no matter why you want to learn how to improve your life and your self-respect,
determination, and accountability are required. In other words, you need to be
ready to keep going even when it's challenging. Don't give up if you respect
yourself you'll push through and fulfill your potential. However, the advice,
don't give up is compatible with knowing when it's time to rest and practice
self-care, just make sure you reflect honestly on whether you're taking care of
yourself or simply avoiding something that intimidates you.
Keeping a journal
is one thing that can really help with maintaining accountability, each day
note down what you've done to contribute to your overall goals. Alternatively,
agree with someone you trust and hold each other accountable. For example, you
might meet once a week and discuss where you are in your overall plans and keep
each other on track with positivity and encouragement.
Learn to respect
yourself more using secret mirror technique if you want to take the next step in
developing healthy self-respect, the secret mirror technique can help you take
your confidence to the next level. It explores how mirror work and mirror
motivation exercises can stop you from being held back by past experience and
outdated negative beliefs, at the heart of the mirror technique, is looking
directly into your own eyes as you reflect on the things that make you proud to
be you. What are your biggest strengths, your major accomplishments, and the
things you contribute to the world? Spend at least five minutes doing this then
repeat a positive affirmation of acceptance after this, for example, you might
say I love every part of myself or I practice self-acceptance on the deepest
level and my self-respect grows every day.
Just
remember that self-respect or self-love is the root of every achievement, every
big thing that you're gonna achieve in life. It boosts your confidence,
self-esteem and you don't feel the need to justify or prove yourself to others
when you're sure of who you are and respect your boundaries. You start
recognizing your worth and stop settling for less at work, relationships,
friendship, or anywhere for that matter. Learn to appreciate yourself for
everything that you've achieved and remember that other people's perception
towards you doesn't really matter. What matters is your worth in front of
yourself. Have a positive image of yourself in your mind and see all the wonder
it can do to your life. Share this with someone who needs to see this and your
thoughts below in the comment. Lots of love!
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